Need. To Survive.

I just bailed on my annual Christmas get together with my high school friends. We only see each other this one time a year. Yet, I just couldn’t do it tonight.

I’m very thankful for a positively fantastic Christmas with my family this year. And I’ve seen old friends that come in town only once a year and had lunch, coffee, dinner, etc. I have been to three family get-togethers, 3 cookie exchanges and another annual family holiday tradition, the “Jingle Mingle.”

I have also squeezed in re-decorating my 8-year-old’s room around 3 days of holiday events. It was one of her biggest asks from Santa this year. I made sure it happened and happened timely. We starting painting after a party on Monday night, touched up and moved furniture last night after another holiday party and finished up today after lunch with an old work friend. She couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t be more exhausted. I just couldn’t muster up the energy to be social - even with people that know me well.

I’ve been toggling between feeling really guilty all afternoon - yet trying to defend my decision that we all needed a break. I know we did.

I just talked to my mom and told her I bailed and her reaction made me flip right into guilt mode again. AGGGHHH.